Why is it you ask that young mothers drag their kids from the front yard, giving me evil looks when I now drive by, old women drop their blinds when they see me coming, laughter amongst the neighbors dies instantly as they turn back to their tasks and wordlessly continue with what they were doing before their friendly neighborhood chat, cats hiss and run across the street, dogs behind low fences bark ferociously and try to break out, just for ONE chance to get to me?
Why do I feel like I am registered on a national website, and feel the need to check once an hour, always ending up surprised that my name and mugshot doesn't come up? Well, I have a photographic diary of my actions from a few days ago, which I hope will explain to you my innocence:
Do you think this is weird? I don't. We were walking- and mind you I WAS NOT ALONE- and decided to post by this fire hydrant. The arms? Well, just looking normal would be so boring. We are pretending to be chicks- get it?? Pun intended....
The girls got tired pretty soon. We decided we needed a car. It was too far to walk all the way back home. This car looked good. It was a pickup and we learned in Nicaragua that those can be used as taxis. So, we got into the bed and waited for the ride back home, up the hill. It didn't work.
We decided we liked these kids riding bikes, so we took a picture. We tried talking to them, but then the girl turned away. I don't know what her problem was. I JUST wanted to try out her bike, I WASN'T trying to steal it out from under her. Besides, if she reacted a bit faster she wouldn't fall off the bike when I tried getting on.
We decided to try and lure the kids by making a fake bird nest (I did it!) and pretending we were baby birds waiting for food. That's why our mouths are wide open. They didn't fall for it. People drove by us with tires screeching. All we wanted was some new friends. The baby bird route did not work.
I was really excited when I realized that I KNOW this girl. I yelled and hollered her name but she did not turn around. Apparently she is a little deaf, also it was windy so she may not have heard me screaming.
I ASKED this guy if he minded me taking a picture of him. I'm not sure why he's looking so grumpy for the picture. Actually, I'm not sure what his answer was, I was busy focusing the camera and snapping away.
I am NOT a molester. I liked the stroller, and the car was driving kind of fast. I had a hard time breaking and taking this pic. She didn't even know I took a picture, she can't complain.
I don't know how to explain this one. He was a foreigner and if you can zoom into that sign, it says "Hook Up" and "Pick Up". I don't think he realized there were pictures of dogs on the sign, too. I did not want to disappoint him. He had nice soft hands.... Then I remembered I had the whole crew in the car, photographing and laughing hysterically. Darn.
DISCLAIMER: I am NOT pregnant. It's the wind. Shut up and mind your own business.
We decided we really wanted to add a boy to our group. We stalked him behind this garbage can, but then realized there was an adult- sleeping- with him. That would have been too easy... We look forward to a challenge.
We felt slightly desperate. We decided to feign injury. No one helped us. As a matter of fact, they walked faster the other way- like that guy on the left. We also tried spelling out "FUN", to encourage people to want to be our friends, but apparently no one got it...
I told Danielle to pretend to be an Easter Bunny and the girls to be chicks, but again no one came. We felt lonely.
We took a picture of this red car. I don't know why. It got people to stop and stare, so it was worth it. You're welcome, Owners, should you want to sell it.
The girls decided kids like rainbows, and they would come with us to find the pot of gold. The best we could do was Danielle's cell phone. Also, at this point we're incognito in DH's Grandma's car. It was the closest to get to. We were tired, and she GAVE us the keys voluntarily.
Auntie suggested we drive off in this RV, since kids would DIG that. Unfortunately it was locked.
We came upon this mailbox. I was VERY excited, because I read it as saying "John Belushi". Apparently it says "John Bletsch". Where are my fancy glasses when I need them?? In my glove compartment, actually.
We liked this mailbox. Pretty Mailbox. Also, we know the boy in the background but he said he was "busy" and then walked off. I'M NOT PLAYING TENNIS WITH YOU ANYMORE, SAM!
We "planted" this bike. No one fell for it. Or over it. Also, just boys walked by. The girls claimed only girls would go for the pink. Offensive. We were waiting in the bushes and taking cat naps.
When that didn't work, we put Hurley behind the gate. My plan was to ask a kid walking by to climb over and get him. Then he'd be trapped. Which kid does NOT like puppies?? ....No one came.
I had lots of fun that day. We ended up getting First Place on the scavenger hunt, and I guess I'll have to go from house to house and explain that one to the neighbors, soon.... Right after I check the gun laws in Nevada, to see if it is safe for me to walk onto their properties, or if they have the right to shoot me.
