What's All the Hype About Eye Sight, Anyway?

I have been wondering for a while how blind is too blind to not wear glasses. I mean, is there a rule or something? When driving I have been able- totally- to make out shapes and sizes and sometimes colors of the things on the road, and often of those BY the road, so I wasn't that concerned.

It really only started annoying me when I went to a Basketball Game with Sebastian and while I was thoroughly enjoying it and completely keeping up with the score and all that, during half time he said: "I really like coming here A LOT, Mom, but why did we go to a Women's game?"  And I was utterly befuddled, while at the same time trying desperately to save face and I said: "I didn't realize I was buying tickets to a woman's game when I was buying them." And then he said: "But why do you keep referring to the players as "he" and "him"?" and I was like: "Well, come on, Dude, those are some manly looking girls," and then the family of one of the Colorado girls that was sitting in front of us all turned around in unison because apparently even during loud and exciting basketball games there are lulls in conversation and they all heard what I had said and I just kind of said "hehehe...?" I mean come on people, no need to butt into my convo with my kid, I mean if anything is rude then I would say THAT is.



REALLY not that obvious, is it??



And then I suggested to Sebastian that we really needed to leave because it was almost 4pm and we had to go to football by 6 and well maybe, just maybe, the car out in the guarded pay-for-parking lot had had it's tires slashed and it would take us a long while to get home, and if he could just kindly guide me to where the car was, once he found it for me I would have no problem driving it, I just didn't remember where we had parked. And it really had everything to do with the fact that indeed my ticket told me what lot and line and spot I was in exactly, but the car doesn't have it's own individual smell, so it would be hard for me to find a white car in a sea of Las Vegas white cars.

So, after this blooper I decided to go to the Optometrist last week. Also, I had the kids clean out my car and in some pocket somewhere Gigi found a pair of eyeglasses which I vaguely remember getting but I also remember distinctly that when I did get them I lived in the house on Blossom Glen and I didn't have kids until I lived in Urbana, and that was 12 years ago. Wow, whatever lens they had put in here was pretty durable, and then DH pointed out that it's not hard to last when you live in a pocket and that just really sounded inappropriate, so after laughing hysterically and the kids all staring at me I had to remind him that I have had this car less than three years and before that it survived 9 years (see, I have been practicing my math) and several moves, but the moral of the story here is really that it is time to go to the eye doctor.

And it was like a candy store, this Optic Gallery, full of cool frames and I don't care if I was hovering by the guys' frames, pink isn't a girl color and frames aren't just for boys. I might have tried every frame on in the store but I was really excited and even more so when the assistant told me that my insurance would cover $120 towards the frames and that was really exciting until I realized that the frames I liked were $480, which if you ask me is just really ridiculous. So I contained myself and decided to go with the $450 frames instead, saving $30 which I would use towards shopping at Ann Taylor next door, because probably I could buy a sock there for that amount of money.

 But then I had to go get an exam, and I chatted and chatted because there were a LOT of weird looking intimidating machines to press my eyes, and forehead, and chin into, and at some point one of the machines went "poof" and blasted this random smoke in my eye and it surely shut me up and left the assistant grinning and I asked her it that was her favorite part of her job and she smiled and said: "I guess so" and then I was quiet and she must have been happy.

Really extremely non-sensical writing

Then she told me to read what was written on the wall while holding one eye shut and I told her that there were letters there but they were non-sensical and then she asked if I had an issue with semantics and I told her "No, but I can read you the letters if you want" and then I kind of did, and to be truthful I wasn't exactly sure what they said but I decided that if I pretended and just recited a bunch of letters with a bunch of self confidence she might not notice if the letters weren't actually up there, and she just smiled and was super non-committal.

And then the doctor was sweet and we had friends in common and we chatted and she asked what was going on with my eyes and I told her that I had willed my eyes into staying the same and she said that I had done an OK job, but I was no Charlie Sheen, and my left eye had gotten a bit worse and everything was fine, I should just make sure to actually wear the glasses that I have. And then she said not to worry about it, eye sight just kind of deteriorates at age 40 and.... WHAT? "Excuse me, Doctor" I said icily, "I am 39, as my file clearly states." And she said: "You know what I mean", and I said "I most certainly do not" and then I excused myself hastily and called my friends to warn them about this false, insecure and negative friend, and to thank me for enlightening them I told them they were welcome to take me out to lunch, but to wait until next week when I was in possession of my new glasses, so that we could try out that new Mediterranean place in Summerlin which I'd probably have to see in order to find.