So I hadn't seen Maria in a while. I mean, don't get me wrong, she still comes to the house but I have been either leaving for work before she gets there or I have been carefully executing an exit plan that does not involve talking to her much. As in I've been making sure to get my keys and briefcase before she gets there and then I'd holler something nondescript as I would run out the door.
Every once in a while I would miscalculate the sounds coming from downstairs and I would come running down the stairs and she would be standing there, just staring at me. And then I would start wondering if she knew, somehow just knew, about the intricate detailed plans I would make to ensure not seeing her and then I would offer her random stuff like McDonald's cheeseburgers (her favorite) or the title to my house, depending on how frazzled and guilty I would feel.
So, today was a little different, She was coming and I had a sick child and I REALLY needed to leave him with her, because I cannot possibly miss another Monday at school, since two of my weekly classes on Monday have been cancelled like every week either because of holidays or made- up holidays by me or the school.
So, I went downstairs with a big smile and said: "Hola Maria, Como Esta?"( Hello Maria, how are you?)
And she just stared at me and I continued smiling with one of those dumb plastered smiles and she stared some more and then she said:
"Su pelo es muy largo." (Your hair is very long) and I got to feeling kind of self conscious and started petting my hair and mumbled: "Si, si."
And then she said:" Es demasiado largo." (It's too long)
So, I said: "Disculpe?" (Excuse me) and she pointed at my hair and said:
"Es bastante." (It's long enough.)
I was all like:"Umm, ok, claro."
She came around from behind the kitchen counter and mumbled: "No le va a hacer mas joven"
I was all like:" HUH?"
And she repeated: "No le va a hacer mas joven."
I contemplated murder but instead said:" I am NOT growing my hair to look younger..."
She smirked and raised her left eyebrow and smiled at me and said: "OK."
I told her I was just growing it.
And she said: "Aha, todos sabemos que acaba de cumplir 41 anos."(something ridiculous about me turning 41)
Again I was all like: "What's your point, Lady??"
Maria: "IS this your midlife crisis?"
And I said:"No", and she smirked some more.
SO, I changed the subject and said: "Julian is upstairs, sick. Can you keep an eye on him?"
And she nodded her head and said: "Of course, he is YOUNG and needs help. You on the other hand- just admit...." (laughing hysterically).
SO I sighed and said: "I just admit."
She said there are worse things than growing old and I mumbled something and she said:
"Sometimes makeup can make you look younger."
I grumbled:"Oh my God, Lady, I AM wearing make up."
And she said: "EXACTLY", then turned away and continued wiping the counter.
I told her I would stop in a lunchtime and she suggested that I bring some cheeseburgers when I come. And a Dr Pepper. So, I did.
