It's kind of like when I first moved to the States and I could not tell anyone apart, just because I was not used to the way Americans looked. I'd be like, "Hey.......Fella....." It was awkward, especially since my vocabulary wasn't extensive enough to be able to even come up with the word "fella", so in fact it was more like, "Hallo sere, Person." Of course that was only if they talked to me since I was painstakingly shy and would never ever say a word unless talked to. I know, hard to believe.
So, I decided to be more proactive in my kids' daily lives, showing them by setting an example what a good, well-rounded, successful person acts like. I meant myself with that. Some kids are more, some are less thrilled. That's kind of how I got to be with my oldest a lot lately. I decided to become an ENTHUSIASTIC sideline cheerer parent. Kind of like the ones I usually make fun of. I mean I have always gone to all 10,000 of their games, I have just kind of sat by the sideline. Now, I have BECOME the sideline. As a matter of fact, I even looked online at what a soccer mom should look like. I found this:
Ugh, not me.
I also found this:
THIS pretty much is me, except my hair is a bit longer and darker. JK, my kid is taller.
So, I chatted with parents. I attempted really hard to really remember that this was going on. I stared at them. I tried to remember how they spoke and what they said and how they said things and who their kids might be. I was SO on a roll. We introduced ourselves. They admired my kid, I remembered that was the socially expected thing to do, so I reciprocated, and that was that. Then I even texted myself the names of the 4 people I had talked to. Just so I would know them in the future, by merely looking down on my phone.
The very next afternoon, I saw one of the dads, and amicably chatted with him for a few minutes. All was well, and I was well on my way to new friendships with people that did not know that I am weird and were probably lining up to be my new friends.
Later that evening, at my OTHER son's football practice, my friend Jessica was talking to a man I didn't know and I went over there to be social and chatted with them. He was interesting. He was originally from Mexico and had met his wife at UCSD and then moved to BC. And he chatted about growing up where he did and his kids now and just pleasant everyday stuff. And I thought how weird it was that I was meeting my second guy from Northern Mexico in the last few days and I asked him more about his childhood and he said, "Again?" and I thought he meant Jessica had asked before I got there so I said, "Well, it's not AGAIN to me. To me it's FIRST time." And he gave me a look that I qualified as somewhat rude, like I was putting him out and he told me the story of his life. You know, normal details and such. Then I asked him if his wife was Mexican also and he said," Goodness, does she LOOK Mexican?" and I went into this long rant about how we can't be stereotyping people by their looks and how rude it is and especially when you even reverse stereotype yourself. So he said blond and blue-eyed people are hard to come by at this home and I was all like, "Dude, how was I supposed to know what she looks like??" And he looked at me like I was possibly stupid and that really bothered me, because I am smart, just not a mind reader.
So, I grumpily hung around for a bit, sometimes throwing a word here or there into the conversation, but he always acted like he knew better. When I said I was from Germany he was like, "Aha,... and carrying on..." and when I said I also had three sons he was like, "No kidding, don't tell me your oldest plays soccer..." and I was all like, "YES! He does!" Maybe this new DAD was a mind reader.
Then, I had to leave and I courteously reached my hand out to him and asked him his name, and he shook it and possibly his head, too and told me his name was Juan. Actually, to be quite specific he said, "My name is Juan, Iraina." I was now convinced that he was some sort of a psychic, since he knew my name without me telling him.
And I left and marveled at how both the Mexican men I had recently met had the same name. Then I got to my other kids and my oldest asked me what I had been talking to Max's dad about and I told him I had not been talking to him, I had been talking to Will's dad and my kids stared at me like I was crazy. And I was really annoyed by all the staring of the evening at this point, so I told them to shut up and just because I talk to men doesn't mean I am doing anything wrong. And then Sebastian said the dad was one and the same person and it occurred to me that apparently this could possibly be true so I told him to SHUT UP, because I wanted to be alone in my humiliation, and all the kids in the back were like, "MOM, what did you do? Sebastian, what did she do??" and I told him he would have to write a 5-page punishment essay if he told them, so apparently he texted them in the back because all of a sudden they were all looking down at their phones, laughing and pointing at me.
So, I threatened them with stuff and spent the evening going over in my mind exactly what I had said and if there was any way I could fix it. Then one of my kids asked to see a picture I took of him the other day and while scrolling through the album, I came across this:
.JPG)
So, I cursed a little bit and sat there memorizing the faces and feeling really grumpy.
My kids, good mooded because they felt I was falling apart all came to Seb's soccer game the next day and as we walked up Thorsten said, "Look, Mom- there's that dad again. Don't get confused." He smiled at me encouragingly and I felt good. So, to show them that you don't always have to wait for people to be nice to you, I decided to show them what I mean when I frequently lecture them about this. So, I walked up a little closer to where he sat with his entourage, waved and gestured wildly and yelled, "HI LUIS!! How are ya?!!?" Smiling broadly, while Thorsten stood there and hissed, "MOM! It's JUAN not LUIS!" So, I pretended to be nonplussed and continued waving and yelled, "I mean JUAN, JUAN, not LUIS!!" and I smiled broadly and the kids turned around and asked if I could drop them off at home after all. Which I did. Along with myself.
I think I am done trying to make friends for a while.
