Through The Eyes Of An Accidental Housewife: Don't Judge Me by My Sweats

People always say things come in three's, so I sort of pay attention to that. NOT when some quasi-celebrity dies, and another one, too and people start freaking out on FB about who will be next. I hate to ruin your momentary hyped-up empathy, but lots of people die all the time. Three die over and over and over again. Just sayin'.

So, these three things happened to me the past few weeks:

I was going to my doctor's appointment and I had absolutely no reason to dress up that day. I literally had a coach's meeting and a soccer game later and that was it. So, I put on some pretty sweats and a nice and bright pink shirt and went. I was going to wear sneakers to make it legit-looking but my $2.99 flip flops from Old Navy were more color coordinated and comfortable.
As I was walking up the stairs- TOTALLY did that- the walking- on purpose, just in case someone saw me and I could be all like I came here to EXERCISE, to run the stairs, like mall walking, except I just took a break while heading up these last few stairs to the second floor. Actually, I was sort of HOPING to run into some old folks I could nod non-chalantly at and keep ~~running~~ speed walking.
I heard someone behind me, and heard all of a sudden a lady's voice say:
"I like your workout clothes."
And I turned around all like "yeah, just got done running these last 10 stairs"when I saw myself face to face with a pretty, skinny, tennis-clothes-clad housewife type lady who said:
"It's funny, but I have a lesson right after this and who wants to change this early in the day, right?" And I was all like: "Yeah, I'm on my way to a coach's meeting like in ten minutes, and maybe I'll be teaching the others some drills. Got to be prepared...."
She smiled: "Well, you might want to change your shoes... Have a great day!"
And she sprinted by me. So I went to the doctor and told him that I had indeed showered in case he was wondering and was just wearing those clothes for future very important and active activity.

Then, about a week later I was meeting my boss for a breakfast meeting, after which we were both going separate ways. I have no idea where SHE was going but I was going home. Why bother? What an awful idea digging through my closet for trousers and something else wrinkle free and shoes? I put on a nice shirt, granted it was a Nike one but it had a cowl neck and could possibly be construed as "nice". On the bottom it didn't matter since I was planning on being there EARLY enough to order and sit down and never get up again. Which I basically did. And, as we were in the midst of an excited discussion someone behind me said:
"Iraina? Is that you?? OMG, I haven't seen you in YEARS!!" And it was an old friend and I just stared at her for a minute pondering my next move and as I neared a breakdown about getting up and she started bending down for a hug, I contemplated reminding her that I was German and do not believe in touching people, but alas I just HAD to get up. I did, gave her a hug, and listened to her excited chit chat.
She said: "I just had Bar--".
And I was all like: "You just came from a BAR? At 9:30 in the morning? I am SOOOO impressed!!" And she said: "No, Silly, BARRE exercise class and I like to get breakfast here afterwards. What about you? What did you have?" She gave me a once over.
"Umm, I had nothing. I am meeting with my boss right now."
She looked at me in bewilderment: "Right now???"
"Umm, yup. That lady sitting right there- my boss." They awkwardly said hello and she left. I started an animated conversation with my boss lady regarding that one time that she had told me she had an exercise class and she had texted me beforehand that she was dressing very casual. I told her she must have missed my text, and indeed I was heading to Jazzercise next.
She squinted: "People don't do that anymore."
"Oh, yeah, I meant Zumba....."
I feel like I saved that one pretty well.

And finally I went to pick up my kid after football practice and I had come back just then from a graduation and I have recently started, since that Barre encounter, making attempts at wearing better clothes and the team mom said:
"WOW, you look nice. I mean, you always look nice but I have only ever seen you in workout clothes."
And I considered feeling offended but then I realized she said WORKOUT clothes so I had been doing a good job dressing comfortably AND fooling people. And then her kid went ON AND ON as to how I and So-and-So's mom were like SUPER athletic, he saw her all the time running in the mornings and though he had never actually SEEN me run or anything I almost ALWAYS was just coming back from or going TO exercise. I stared at him contemplating and realized that in Middle School I apparently can still fool people. And I smiled and told him that I sometimes see So-and-So's mom in the mornings too, which was a flat out lie.

I've been pondering this for a while now. I took my grandmother- in -law to the doctor and she complained the whole time, while pointing out people to me that everyone dressed so CASUAL in this town. And I was telling my kids about this and said: "And she was pointing to all the obviously ILL people that were standing there in sweatpants and stuff and it really annoyed me because when people are actually sick they don't CARE about what they wear and she obviously always goes to the doctor for fun, since she was dressed nicely.
My kids just kind of looked at me as I told the story, then,
Seb: "Are YOU feeling ill today?"
Me: "NO."
Seb: "I'm just going to take a quick picture of you, OK?"

Me: "WTH. I have no idea what you are doing that for."
Seb: "Did you change since coming home from work?"
Me; "No, but that's besides the point."
Seb: Here Mom, this is a picture of YOUR clothes today. Pretty sure you wore that when
you came back from class......"
Me: "That's a non-functioning hoody."
Seb: "Aha."
Me: "Plus, its actually your dad's."
Seb: "Not making things any better..."
Me: "I had no time to do my hair today."
Seb: "Of course."
Me: "I feel like those sweats kind of look like slacks."
Seb: "No."
Me: "I want to be done now."

So, I feel like I need to prove that I don't ALWAYS wear sweats: